Is Anyone Home?

the one where i attempt to explain my month-long absence, and process weird feelings

The last time I wrote to you guys, it was after my 400-level second semester exams, and I told you about how they went, my new penchant for buying materials at Yaba, and all the events I was planning for the month of July.

Honestly, the intention wasn’t to go off after that, but I am a first daughter of a Nigerian family with a mild superhero complex, which means that I tend to take on a lot of work and underestimate how much I have to do until I am knee-deep in the middle of it, and it’s like, “oh shit, I’ve been so busy, that I haven’t had the time to write a newsletter in six weeks!”

That’s what the month of July felt like. I jumped from project to project in rapid succession, and I came out of it feeling so burned out I didn’t have the energy to sit down, really reflect on my life and write to you guys.

So I stayed away. In the meantime, I buried myself in work and spent my spare time scrolling mindlessly through TikTok. I didn’t really have the energy for much else. Luckily, I was able to document how my projects went, and I’ll share them below.

1. Blind Optimism — the story of the Selar Creator Summit 2023.

2. The Beauty of Excellence — lessons from Founders Connect: Live in Lagos.

3. LMUN 2022/23 — a study in endurance and taking initiative.

So yeah. Other than that, I’ve just been “there.”

I don’t really know how to explain it. I love phone conversations with my friends, but lately, I’ve been dreading being asked how my life is going or what’s going on with me because I don’t really know what to say at the moment. Sometimes life feels like a fever dream, like the moments between 3 am and 5 am when the world slowly moves from absolute quietness to the sound of life awakening. When nothing happens.

I think those moments are necessary for a number of reasons. They help you recuperate lost energy, they give you the space to think and plan your next moves, and they remind you that life is not a movie made post-2010 where every scene has to be action-packed or meaningful. Sometimes, life is just life, and that’s okay.

It doesn’t make me feel any less impatient, though. For what? I’m not so sure.
I guess we will find out soon. Hopefully.

In the meantime, I will keep working, posting content on Instagram, reading books and watching series I like, and building my portfolio.

So that’s it from my end. How are things from your end? Are you waiting for something you’re not sure of, too? Or are there other things bothering you? Feel free to gist with me in the comments. I have missed you guys so much. ♥

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Media I Consumed this Week:

1. Reading: A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. This would be my second time reading this book, and the first in hardcopy, and honestly, I am living. The emotions expressed by the characters are so complex in a way that just makes sense when you consider how people relate with each other, and there's so much to dissect and ponder upon. I am absolutely living.

   I am also reading Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey MsQuiston because I watched the movie and loved it so much I just had to read it.

2. Watching: Celebrity (K-drama). This series is so binge-able. I think, more than anything, I am fascinated with the plot. I keep thinking about all the elements behind the scenes, like the ideation and the different story arcs, and I find it all quite intriguing. I only like two characters, Yoon Sihyeon (because every time she comes onscreen, she takes my breath away) and Han Junkyung (because I’m just a girl, don’t judge me).
   

   I am also watching Succession and taking my sweet time with it. Everyone is so ridiculous, and it feels like a more sinister version of the office, except Michael is a corporate sad boi with three siblings (two of whom I have a crush on).

3. Listening: I stumbled upon a Tiktok where someone was talking about why Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey is an iconic album. Naturally, I have been listening to it on repeat since then. He was not wrong.