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Oluchukwu.'s avatar

The most interesting thing about this story is you living in Venezuela. Igbo people just be living anywhere mehnn.

There are two things I consider instrumental in changing the dynamic of my relationship with my parents: financial independence and distance. When I moved away for school and started earning my own money, they began to see me as a person who could decide and do for himself. That sucks because I was born with the ability to decide and do. Money and Lagos didn’t give it to me.

Great piece; it’s very important that parenting is deliberate and geared towards recognising children as people, not subjects. 🫶🏼

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Chiamaka's avatar

Hi Treasure! I absolutely loved reading this piece cause I related to it so much, except now that my parents finally see me, I actually find it quite uncomfortable. Anyways, what I really wanted to say is that even before reading your piece today, I’ve thought a lot about my relationship with my parents, how that affects me now, and the kind of relationship I want to have with my own kids. At some point I concluded that my parents (who were more or less like yours) parented the way they did cause it’s easier to control someone than to hear them out and negotiate workable terms. But after reading your piece, a thought came to me: maybe it wasn’t about what was easier and what wasn’t, cause at the end of the day, our parents loved us, and if they were convinced that there was a healthier way to raise us, regardless of their finances or other factors, they would have at least tried. I think our parents raised us the way they did because they were conditioned (by their own parents and childhood experiences) to believe that that was the best way to raise children.

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