Kind hearts are the gardens, kind words are the roots, kind thoughts are the flowers, kind deeds are the fruits - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I find the concept of kindness really interesting. It’s beautiful to contemplate how much of our lives depend on it, and how closely connected we are because of it.
There’s beauty in the shared humanness that it brings —stamps of love and ardour we carry on the badges of our hearts. Whether it’s a reassuring glance, or a kind word, we’ve had that one moment of kindness that has left imprints on us, etched in on our souls like glass engravings.
One of my fondest memories of kindness happened with a friend in primary school. I had contracted conjunctivitis and my school had to isolate those of us who had been infected for the rest of the day, while we waited for our parents to come to get us. My best friend came to play with me (and really, she shouldn’t have) but we were children and the only thing that mattered in that moment was her wanting to make me feel better. For some reason, I have kept that memory in my head and I hope to tell her someday if we ever get to meet again.
Kindness is being made to feel included, seen, thought of. Offered a seat in the room. A space to exist.
In 200 level, I participated in a model UN conference. It was the first day and we had formed ourselves into blocs. Knowing that I can be very shy and struggle to talk with people I’m unfamiliar with, I’d usually sit behind my other bloc members and just chip in when I could. In typical model UN practice, delegates would go to other blocs to get their members to vote for their working papers. Because I was seated at the back, you would easily think I wasn’t a part of the group (and I thought that was fine, honestly) but when a delegate came and said hi to everyone else except me, I did feel a bit left out. And just then a member of my bloc said ‘She’s part of us too,’ and I cannot fully explain how much this singular act meant to me. The person probably doesn’t know this, but it made a huge difference for me for the rest of the conference. I think about this very often and how this very little act of recognition helped me feel much more a part of the group.
Kindness is acceptance. Genuine and unfettered. It’s the love of a parent, sibling, friend. Sometimes a total stranger. My parents sending me the most encouraging messages each day, after I had a bad exam or my best friend leaving me random cute notes in my textbooks. That one time I got lost and a random stranger helped me find my way back.
It’s thoughtfulness and consideration. A choice to keep someone in the pocket of your heart, a witness to their existence. It’s wild and sincere devotion between lovers.
Kindness is love.
One of my favourite books of all time is The Kite Runner by Khaleed Hosseini. It’s a gripping story of friendship, redemption and love in the face of loss and unimaginable pain.
‘For you, a thousand times over’. Amir tells Baba.
These words hold so much meaning and significance, it’s such a wonder that they were said by fictional characters.
Kindness is patience, a kind of tenderness and grace that sees the truest of intentions.
Like I’ve heard someone say, we’re all living life for the first time, and so it’s okay to not always get things right. Kindness is knowing this fact about life and accepting—in ourselves and in others—that mistakes are human nature and we’re allowed to stumble a few times.
Beyond these, kindness is self-love and acceptance.
I’ve come to realise just how important it is to turn inwards in your kindness journey. Kindness is as much a decision of self-acceptance, a willingness to find peace within ourselves, to lean in and embrace ourselves fully.
A trick I’ve learnt is to ask yourself in every situation, ‘What’s the kindest thing I’d love to hear or be told at this moment?’ Kindness is telling yourself these things too, because you deserve to hear them come from you.
It’s giving yourself credit for all your little wins, but also being compassionate enough to realise that failure is a part of the process. It’s healing your inner child and teaching your inner critic to be more loving. It’s the awareness of all of your quirks and yet loving everything that makes you unique.
What does kindness mean to you?
It might not be as radical as Amir’s. But I hope you try to spread kindness in your little corner of the world, where you can. I hope that you love fiercely, and show kindness in a way that makes your heart come alive. And mostly, I hope that you learn to be kinder to yourself—because what are we, if not borne of love and compassion for ourselves?
Meet the Writer
is twenty-something-year-old who is passionate about life, growth, and learning. She is in her third year studying law at the University of Lagos and works part-time as a Technical Writer. She’s deeply inquisitive and absolutely adores the cute stuff of life.Her favourite things to do are read, watch sitcoms and listen to podcast conversations. You can find her on Medium here.
Media I Consumed this Week
Hello, hello. How are you guys doing? How was your week? This week was my last week home before my final semester in school starts, so I took time to really revel in it. Stayed indoors, worked, and enjoyed my own company. Here’s the media I consumed:
Watched: Hospital Playlist. This is a K-drama about a group of friends working together in a hospital and honestly I don’t know why it took me so long to discover this gem. It is so good. There are no thrillers or unnecessary heartaches. The friendship between the characters is so beautiful and heartwarming and I highly recommend it!
Read: The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Favorite novel of all time, and fourth time rereading it. Donna Tartt crafts stories in a way that deeply compels me and The Secret History is a work of art. Nuff said.
Listened: Been in my Pan-African music bag. Currently curating this playlist.
Ooh, what else . . .
I wrote about love and loss on my Medium this week. It took me years to finish writing this piece, and I think you should check it out: A Catalogue of Falling in Love and Falling Apart.
Well, that has been it for this week. Let me know what you would like me to write about for the next piece by voting below.
Ps. My birthday is on the 26th of April and I am so lost regarding how to celebrate. My biggest issue lies in the fact that I don’t want to be stressed on that day but I also would like to spend it with people I love. The problem is, I love many people. Do you have suggestions or ideas for me? Leave them for me below!
Have a wonderful week ahead. I’m always rooting for you.
Byee!
I loved every word but I particularly took note of this "we’re all living life for the first time, and so it’s okay to not always get things right."
A quote I love so much says "in a world where you can be anything - be kind".
A "little" act of kindness can go a long way - especially in your twenties where you're trying to navigate relationships, finance, career path and so on.
Finally, a little advice for your birthday - since you wish to celebrate your birthday with many people I think you should do a virtual birthday party.