Treasure, thank you so much for this — it was a great read. I’ve often felt the same about friendships, especially as I’ve been getting older. I miss how easy it was to, like you said, take off my shoes and plop down on the couch. Dressing up, especially as a woman, feels nice but it’s even better when you can take off your clothes and put on a big t shirt — it’s freeing to “get ugly”. Getting older feels like losing that freedom but, there’s still beauty in the friendships that withstand the test of time & the friendships to come. Great work ❤️
Woah, that metaphor. Thank you so much Kyannah for reading, I hope we are given the space to feel more comfortable wearing our big tshirts in our friendships. <3
I enjoyed reading through this a lot. Currently in a phase where I am trying to put in more efforts into my friendships and the relatability of this piece gave me some form of warmth.
This is such a good read ! it’s so relatable i find it hard to keep up with my friends now that we are kinda scattered across the world and done with uni, sometimes I feel so bad cause it seems everyone is slowly moving on and doing their own thing and we only get to check in once /twice in two weeks or months or only when we see on Sundays in church.
My priority now is to put in more effort & communicate to them how it feels like we drifting cause most of my friends are people I want do life with ❤️.
Hey Anne, thank you for reading! I feel the same way too, almost seems like becoming a friend has gotten harder, and now we synthesize our efforts into big events instead of the little things. I am glad this piece resonated with you, wishing you great luck as you build your friendships with the people in your life! <3
This is how I've felt in my closest, dearest friendships lately and for a while, it bothered me. Am I losing them? Are they losing me? What about the forever love we promised?
A lot of introspection helped me reach the realisation that it's okay for friendships to ebb and flow; life is doing the same and moving us all along with it.
The awkwardness I felt was because I was overthinking a momentary silence, silence that I used to be so comfortable with.
I'm better now at dealing with periods of silence, and I know that we're all like lighthouses that we can always come back to.
And if that lighthouse ever disappears, I'll always be grateful that it was once there to give me the love and light that I desperately needed on cold and lonely nights.
You're probably tired of hearing me say this, but your writing, my God. 🥹 Thank you and I wish you the best time in your new home.
I overthink a lot too. Once a friend that I am very close to goes silence, it makes me worry. I think I am learning how to appreciate the silence as well, and to accept the distance that comes with growth. I always love your contributions Sapph, thank you so much for reading.
And maybe one day, life will bring us back together again. Or maybe it won’t. Either way, the love we shared was real, and that’s something no amount of time or distance can erase.
This resonated so well with me, aside the fact I badly want a house I can call my own.
Friendships has been sitting in my thoughts for a while, I feel like I’ve been floating and not fully soaked in on my friendships.
But like you said, friendships shouldn’t be something I remember to do, but an open door.
Loved this piece as always, the writing style also is very lovely and I’ll be looking forward to reading “breath of life” I’ve had it sitting on my TBR for a while now.
I love the metaphor you used because that's how I feel about life in general at the moment. This topic was heavily impressed on me and I'm glad I was able to write about it.
A Breath of Life is a strange read, but I am fond of strange things. I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you. I enjoyed this piece. I also think meeting our friends on dinner dates or planned events makes us awkward and performative. It's like you can't relax, you always have to be on. Growing up is tough on friendships.
You might want to install a POP but you're worried it might be too much an investment. Yup! coming to the hard realization that 20 friends do not play together for 20 years. That's what being an adult teaches you.
i loved this! i'm in my final year and have started to notice how my college friendships are changing already. it's filled me with a lot of panic because i always imagined my friends and i would be in each other's lives forever, with the same intensity that characterized our early days. but life isn't like that, is it? you have given language to what many of us young adults are feeling. thank you
i don't think it is, i mean standing outside the college years and looking back, a lot has changed. we can only hope for the best, and also hope that new friendships find us, that care about friendship as much as we do.
This is so beautiful! I felt a pit in my stomach reading the note on how friendships are sometimes more of a rented apartment, but it swelled with joy when it was acknowledged that they can take the form of lighthouses too. This brought me immense joy and rewired my brain a little. I love your writing!
Friendship in childhood felt effortless. I remember when my best friend and I practically lived in each other’s houses—one week at hers, the next at mine. Her parents called me their daughter, and mine did the same for her. It was the kind of bond that felt unbreakable, the kind that made us believe nothing could ever come between us.
But adulthood has a way of testing even the strongest connections. Somehow, life got in the way—responsibilities, unspoken words, and maybe even a few misunderstandings. And before we knew it, two years had passed without a single conversation.
This is such a beautiful read, heartfelt, true, and deeply relatable.
Reading it felt like sitting quietly with an old friend, letting memories surface, bittersweet but warm.
Sometimes, I like to think of “acting like a tenant” in a friendship as just another passing phase. Yet even then, there’s a part of me that knows how permanent it can sometimes feel.
Recently, I lost a friend, although “lost” may not be the right word. It was more of a quiet drifting apart, not born from conflict, but from life itself.
I find myself wondering when the cracks first appeared, when they became too visible to ignore. Were they even real, or were they imagined? And if they were real, why didn’t we cement the cracks and repaint the room?
Back then, proximity wasn’t the problem.
I like to believe now that we grew apart because we were meant to. Though, in my heart, I would rewrite that ending if I could.
Not long ago, I reached out, just to ask if there were cracks I hadn’t seen.
I was met with warmth and tenderness. We agreed; there were no deep wounds, just the quiet reality of change. Yet even in that moment, I knew the season was impermanent.
This experience taught me that not every friendship ends with a grand rupture. Sometimes, we leave not because the house is broken, but because we outgrow its walls. Or perhaps we were too comfortable to notice they no longer fit.
A beautiful thank you to the author for putting such complex feelings into words. I look forward to reading more of your work.
lovely war by julie berry - dm and tell me what you think about aubrey and the book in general if you read it.
i loved reading this. the analogy i’ve always used was doors. sometimes the doors take effort to be kept open. sometimes we’re scared of opening the doors. sometimes the doors fade enough through no fault of anyone. life just happens. anyways fun as always catching up on your posts. your writing is just as resonant as always.
Treasure, thank you so much for this — it was a great read. I’ve often felt the same about friendships, especially as I’ve been getting older. I miss how easy it was to, like you said, take off my shoes and plop down on the couch. Dressing up, especially as a woman, feels nice but it’s even better when you can take off your clothes and put on a big t shirt — it’s freeing to “get ugly”. Getting older feels like losing that freedom but, there’s still beauty in the friendships that withstand the test of time & the friendships to come. Great work ❤️
Woah, that metaphor. Thank you so much Kyannah for reading, I hope we are given the space to feel more comfortable wearing our big tshirts in our friendships. <3
I enjoyed reading through this a lot. Currently in a phase where I am trying to put in more efforts into my friendships and the relatability of this piece gave me some form of warmth.
Thank you so much for reading, glad it made you feel warm!
Wow!
Did you read my mind🥹?
This is such a good read ! it’s so relatable i find it hard to keep up with my friends now that we are kinda scattered across the world and done with uni, sometimes I feel so bad cause it seems everyone is slowly moving on and doing their own thing and we only get to check in once /twice in two weeks or months or only when we see on Sundays in church.
My priority now is to put in more effort & communicate to them how it feels like we drifting cause most of my friends are people I want do life with ❤️.
Thank you for sharing, this is so good.
Hey Anne, thank you for reading! I feel the same way too, almost seems like becoming a friend has gotten harder, and now we synthesize our efforts into big events instead of the little things. I am glad this piece resonated with you, wishing you great luck as you build your friendships with the people in your life! <3
Yeah, thank you so much Treasure 🫶!
Wish you all the best toooo!
Wishing*
This is how I've felt in my closest, dearest friendships lately and for a while, it bothered me. Am I losing them? Are they losing me? What about the forever love we promised?
A lot of introspection helped me reach the realisation that it's okay for friendships to ebb and flow; life is doing the same and moving us all along with it.
The awkwardness I felt was because I was overthinking a momentary silence, silence that I used to be so comfortable with.
I'm better now at dealing with periods of silence, and I know that we're all like lighthouses that we can always come back to.
And if that lighthouse ever disappears, I'll always be grateful that it was once there to give me the love and light that I desperately needed on cold and lonely nights.
You're probably tired of hearing me say this, but your writing, my God. 🥹 Thank you and I wish you the best time in your new home.
I overthink a lot too. Once a friend that I am very close to goes silence, it makes me worry. I think I am learning how to appreciate the silence as well, and to accept the distance that comes with growth. I always love your contributions Sapph, thank you so much for reading.
And maybe one day, life will bring us back together again. Or maybe it won’t. Either way, the love we shared was real, and that’s something no amount of time or distance can erase.
I loved this comment so much (and the previous one too). The realisation that a love that has changed will not go away from you.
Thank you😊
Coming back to comment when I finish reading!💜
I will be waiting for you!
This resonated so well with me, aside the fact I badly want a house I can call my own.
Friendships has been sitting in my thoughts for a while, I feel like I’ve been floating and not fully soaked in on my friendships.
But like you said, friendships shouldn’t be something I remember to do, but an open door.
Loved this piece as always, the writing style also is very lovely and I’ll be looking forward to reading “breath of life” I’ve had it sitting on my TBR for a while now.
Have a great week yourself too.
I too am feeling very Virginia Woolf.
I love the metaphor you used because that's how I feel about life in general at the moment. This topic was heavily impressed on me and I'm glad I was able to write about it.
A Breath of Life is a strange read, but I am fond of strange things. I hope you enjoy it.
I’ll share my thoughts post reading the book🫶🏽.
looking forward to them <3
The fact I just quoted you as I was drafting my letter for my subscribers and this notification popped up!, I ran down here!!.
Hey, you shared this letter with me (got a notif) but now I can't find it. Can you please send a link here?
Alrighty
Here it is: https://open.substack.com/pub/favourimbufe/p/the-year-so-far-a-fresh-start-and?r=1as721&utm_medium=ios
omg hii hii hii
It’s the trying to figure out how you fit in everyone’s new lives//new apartments. Maybe you figure, or maybe it ends up not having space for you.
It hurts, doesn't it?
Thank you. I enjoyed this piece. I also think meeting our friends on dinner dates or planned events makes us awkward and performative. It's like you can't relax, you always have to be on. Growing up is tough on friendships.
It is really tough, but I think realising when this is happening can help us potentially address it and make a change for the better.
You might want to install a POP but you're worried it might be too much an investment. Yup! coming to the hard realization that 20 friends do not play together for 20 years. That's what being an adult teaches you.
"20 friends do not play together for 20 years" is so sad mehn.
i loved this! i'm in my final year and have started to notice how my college friendships are changing already. it's filled me with a lot of panic because i always imagined my friends and i would be in each other's lives forever, with the same intensity that characterized our early days. but life isn't like that, is it? you have given language to what many of us young adults are feeling. thank you
i don't think it is, i mean standing outside the college years and looking back, a lot has changed. we can only hope for the best, and also hope that new friendships find us, that care about friendship as much as we do.
This is so beautiful! I felt a pit in my stomach reading the note on how friendships are sometimes more of a rented apartment, but it swelled with joy when it was acknowledged that they can take the form of lighthouses too. This brought me immense joy and rewired my brain a little. I love your writing!
Thank you so much turtles! Glad you enjoyed it <3
This is so true
Friendship in childhood felt effortless. I remember when my best friend and I practically lived in each other’s houses—one week at hers, the next at mine. Her parents called me their daughter, and mine did the same for her. It was the kind of bond that felt unbreakable, the kind that made us believe nothing could ever come between us.
But adulthood has a way of testing even the strongest connections. Somehow, life got in the way—responsibilities, unspoken words, and maybe even a few misunderstandings. And before we knew it, two years had passed without a single conversation.
Sooo beautiful!
This is such a beautiful read, heartfelt, true, and deeply relatable.
Reading it felt like sitting quietly with an old friend, letting memories surface, bittersweet but warm.
Sometimes, I like to think of “acting like a tenant” in a friendship as just another passing phase. Yet even then, there’s a part of me that knows how permanent it can sometimes feel.
Recently, I lost a friend, although “lost” may not be the right word. It was more of a quiet drifting apart, not born from conflict, but from life itself.
I find myself wondering when the cracks first appeared, when they became too visible to ignore. Were they even real, or were they imagined? And if they were real, why didn’t we cement the cracks and repaint the room?
Back then, proximity wasn’t the problem.
I like to believe now that we grew apart because we were meant to. Though, in my heart, I would rewrite that ending if I could.
Not long ago, I reached out, just to ask if there were cracks I hadn’t seen.
I was met with warmth and tenderness. We agreed; there were no deep wounds, just the quiet reality of change. Yet even in that moment, I knew the season was impermanent.
This experience taught me that not every friendship ends with a grand rupture. Sometimes, we leave not because the house is broken, but because we outgrow its walls. Or perhaps we were too comfortable to notice they no longer fit.
A beautiful thank you to the author for putting such complex feelings into words. I look forward to reading more of your work.
lovely war by julie berry - dm and tell me what you think about aubrey and the book in general if you read it.
i loved reading this. the analogy i’ve always used was doors. sometimes the doors take effort to be kept open. sometimes we’re scared of opening the doors. sometimes the doors fade enough through no fault of anyone. life just happens. anyways fun as always catching up on your posts. your writing is just as resonant as always.