Why you should tell your story

for the people pregnant with stories they are hesitant to tell

Writing to you again after four months reminds me of how I feel whenever I speak Igbo after not practicing for a while:

“How do you say . . .” I would stutter in English, attempting to remember words while steering my tongue around a language that gets more comfortable with use, but will depart from me with the same vim I use to depart from it. ¹

My reasons for being away have been many, all tied to the rudimentary motions of living. In August, I was struggling to finish school. Then, the Lagos Model United Nations (which I have yet to write about) took plenty of time and mental energy to execute. Eventually, my attempts at writing began to feel stilted and dry, championed by a dubious voice in my brain that suggested I had nothing worthwhile to share.

Soon, it became easier and easier to stay away. August came, and I graduated; spent September trying to complete my undergraduate project. October plunged me head-first into work, and now November is here, and I’m slowly realising that there will never be a perfect time to write. My life, as I know it, is only going to get busier and busier, at least for the next ten years.

This realization has been propped by two things.

First, the often misunderstood relationship between pleasure and work. There’s this notion that you should do things because you enjoy them, but it’s not always in that order—enjoyment first, then the doing. Often, it’s the other way around. You have to get into the pull of doing the activity before the pending joys come (or return) to you. I know this because there are moments when I approach home workouts, or my 9-5 stiff and unwilling, but then a bulb of luminous joy begins to swell in my chest as I give in to the pull of the work, and I remember that yes, this is what I like about living.

The stories people have shared with me about my work while I have been away have also served as an immense source of encouragement to keep sharing online. You never know how far the stories you tell can go.

Last month, I had the privilege of attending a boot camp for journalists where I met a young woman who told me that she had read one of the pieces I had written about LMUN, and it had given her the idea of starting a MUN in her school. I teared up because I didn’t realise that documenting my love for MUNs in my little corner of the universe could make a school start a programme of its own.

I also stumbled across this beautiful piece on LinkedIn written by Judy Okposio, where she talked about how my efforts at documenting my career growth had inspired her to join a volunteer program that changed her life forever. Reminded me of the butterfly effect, and how our little actions can ripple into oceans of beauty in our lives and those of others.

It’s even more amazing to me because I am very aware of how my life and journey has been propelled by the stories I have heard from the people I am inspired by. I wouldn’t have gotten into marketing if I hadn’t spent a huge chunk of time in 2022 binge-watching videos by Peace Itimi. Neither would I have chosen content marketing as my career focus if I hadn’t watched Aisha Owolabi talk about how content had given her a career that allowed her to travel around the world.

Stories flip the world on its axis. They inspire people to choose careers, fall in love, and travel to faraway countries. Knowing somebody achieved something you want for yourself has a powerful way of crystallizing your resolve and providing an invisible arm you can lean on, yes — even when they don’t know who you are and vice versa.

You can never know who is reading the things you write and is impacted by the work that you do, so please do not allow the weight of your ambitions to muzzle you. As long as you’re doing something you love, there’s a story there to tell.

Just be sure you’re not spending more time telling your story than doing the work of building a life you are in love with. You don’t want your readers to one day peek behind the curtains and see nothing. There’s a fine line between documentation and fiction, and you want your stories to thread back to the work you are doing/have done. That’s the only way your stories will be sustainable—if they’re true.

So that’s my message for you today: tell your story. You don’t have to wait until your life is perfect and you have achieved all your dreams before you do so. Starting now gives you the opportunity to build a documented track record that you can always look back at to draw inspiration and strength.

Below, I have written down some doubts I have experienced while engaging in this practice of telling my life story, and the responses I’ve weaved into my head over the years. It can be a source of support to you, but I also want you to know that sometimes, the reassurance and the confidence you’re trying to find by listening to others might only stick with experimentation. For you, this means you might have to plunge in headfirst into the work, and stay faithful to see what happens next.

So here we go:

1. I don’t have anything to share. You do, you just don’t think it’s worth sharing. There are unique experiences and skills you have garnered over the years that can be shared. What might seem mundane and banal to you, might be the sign someone needs to assume a new path. Remember the video of how to boil an egg that has over six million views?²

2. Other people have already talked about what I want to talk about. Yes, but not with your humor, your flavour, your range, your language, your unique lens, the relationship/connection they have to you, your ‘you.’

3. A lot of time has passed since my story happened, and I don’t know if anybody will still care. Some stories may be time-bound, but if you’re not a journalist then I see no reason why you cannot spin spirits from the past and have them do your bidding in the present. A story might lose its relevance over time, but not its ability to inspire change. Time even has a way of painting old stories with new perspectives that can serve as beautiful additions to your work.

4. No one will read/listen to my work. One person is usually all you need. One person that shows interest. And when you do good work consistently more people will find themselves drawn to you.

5. I haven’t done anything worth sharing: See number one. If you’re still convinced, however, then go outside and do something worth sharing and come back and tell us. Let this be the fuel you need to take action and build the life of your dreams.

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Treasure’s Corner

Long time, no see? 🧍🏽‍♀️

(Did you miss me, if yes, good. If no, chai, 😞 don’t be angry.)

I’m sorry I took so long to return to you. Like I said above, the past few months have been insane. I finished school, and jumped back into work with fervency. Life has been incredibly fast-paced, and I have been fraught with uncertainty regarding what next year is going to look like. But I’ll be fine, and I really hope things work out for me, and for you.

And you? How have you been? What’s been going on with your life? Please write to me, I cannot wait to hear from you!

Completed this piece after spending my weekend bed rotting and watching movies. The older I get, the more I appreciate days spent in absolute leisure.

As always, I’ll be ending this newsletter by sharing the pieces of media I have been consuming lately (hehe, I really missed doing this).

Watching:

I watched Kill Bill Vol 1. Uma Thurman was SO perfect in that role. Quentin Tarantino’s comic-style of directing and the 20 minutes of the film that were animated for no reason other than why-the-fuck-not was so perfect. I love subversions so much. When someone changes something just because they can and it just works??? Fantastic stuff.

Then, I watched Babylon, a 2022 movie starring Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, and Diego Calva that tanked at the box office but not in my heart. It was 3 hours long but my god, it was SO beautiful. After that, I saw two episodes of Arcane S1 (In Love with Vi) and four episodes of this new K-drama called A Virtuous Business about a woman in the 90s who starts selling sex toys. I think the K-drama industry is fantastic at pulling the most niche ideas and carving beautiful stories around them. Let’s see if the storyline holds till the end.

Also loved these YouTube videos:

1. Simon Sinek & Trevor Noah on Friendship, Loneliness, Vulnerability, and More | Full Conversation

2. Rory Sutherland – Are We Now Too Impatient to Be Intelligent? | Nudgestock 2024

3. Paper towns and why learning is awesome | John Green

Reading:

Currently reading The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides. It’s about a family with five daughters who start killing themselves, told from the point of view of the boys (who are pretty unreliable narrators) in their neighbourhood. I don’t think it’s the best book I’ve read this year, but I liked how it addressed the effects of suicide on family and the community. Been really into literary fiction lately, and I think I’ll rest my tent here for a while. Before this book, I read The Vegetarian by Han Kang, I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman, and Pride and Prejudice, by my girl, Jane Austen. All masterpieces in their own rights.

Beyond books, here are a few articles I have read recently that I find helpful:

1. How to Get a UK Global Talent Visa As a Nigerian Tech Professional – 1000 Ways to Japa : Here my friend

   Oríadé
   shares how he moved to the UK in August.

2. 'I'm Too Lazy and Mediocre to Deserve the Life I Want!'

3. Take Time: Writers block and how good work takes time. by

   Mo Isu
   .

4. Read this if you hate yourself by

   Ore Eni-ibukun
   .

Listening:

Been really into this K-pop group, AESPA, lately. I love their hyperpop, runway sound, and I think their music videos (1, 2,) are so well made. I have also been listening to a lot of house music and latin jazz. Left a few tunes for you in the 20 Something playlist.

That’s it for this week. I love you and I am rooting for you. Next week, our LightBox segment returns, with the story of an amazing 20-something year old who is helping businesses sell on social media.

Excited for it.

See you next week. x

1. In that, Igbo and writing have a lot in common. They won’t stick around, waiting for you to look at them. If you neglect them, they’ll slip away.

2. I remember this video everytime I feel like something I’m about to share is “old news.” To who? How are you certain that everyone knows this piece of information? Even if they have heard it before, what is wrong with a reminder?